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‘ AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 115
clearness and perspicuity to which I could train my intel-
lect, —the greater would become my means to labor for
the benefit of mankind, and to become happy myself.
Bentham gave me, in his “ Principles of Utility,” a new
light, and at the same time I had an opportunity of fre-
quently conversing with distinguished and highly intelli-
gent people. A new world opened within me; I beheld a
new sun, and in his light a paradise. My happiness at this
new resurrection within me was inexpressible. My old
plans, to which I had hitherto adhered, fell to the ground.
I soon saw the road which I ought to follow. Oh, delight!
Now I would and I could rise higher and higher to light
and truth, and every one of my steps would bring with it
some fruit for my fellow-men. My soul rejoiced.
Letters arrived about this time; one for my mother and
one for me. The young gentleman, who therein offered me
his hand and heart, spoke with such warm sincerity, good-
ness, and real excellence of soul, and with so much candor
and openness of himself, that I was deeply touched by it.
I felt no aversion for him; but I did not wish to marry.
By the refusal which I gave;I considered that I had for-
ever placed a barrier between myself and marriage. I did
not fear that the fulfillment of my duties as a wife anda
mother would not be my chief aim if I entered into the
married state; but it became clear to me that my mission
as an authoress would then become totally neglected, be-
cause I knew and I felt that one cannot unite these two
vocations without failing in both ; while by devoting myself
exclusively to the latter, — that of an authoress, —I be-
lieved that I could make myself as useful as my power ad-
mitted.
The third volume of my “Sketches,” which I wrote in
the winter of 1831, in a hurry-skurry, appeared in print
in the following spring, and the success which it met with,
together with the advice of several highly estimable per-
sons, determined me to devote myself seriously to the life
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