- Project Runeberg -  The Confession of a Fool /
288

(1912) [MARC] Author: August Strindberg Translator: Ellie Schleussner
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the conversation, while Marie, poor, unpopular Marie,
once again sat in silence.

She began to be afraid of me. One morning, for the
first time in the last six years of our marriage, she
appeared fully dressed in my bedroom before I was up.
I could not understand this sudden move, but we had a
stormy scene, during which she admitted that she was
jealous of the girl who came into my room every morning
to light the fire in my stove.

“And I do detest your new ways!” she exclaimed.
“I hate this so-called manliness, and loathe you when
you give yourself airs!”

Well, I knew that it had always been the page, the
lap-dog, the weakling, “her child” that she loved. The
virago never loves virility in her husband, however much
she may admire it elsewhere.

I became more and more popular with the women. I
sought their society; my whole nature was expanding in
the friendly warmth which they emanated, these true
women, who inspired the respectful love, the genuine
devotion which a man only feels for a womanly woman.

We were discussing our return home. But again my
old suspicions tormented me. I shrank from the renewal
of old relations with former friends, some of whom might
quite conceivably have been my wife’s lovers. To put
an end to my doubts, I determined to cross-examine her,
for my letters to friends in Sweden had been so much
waste of paper. I had been unable to elicit a candid
statement.

Everybody pitied the “mother.” No one cared
whether or not the “father” would be ruined by the
ridicule which threatened to befall him.

An excellent idea occurred to me. I would make use
of the resources of the new science of psychology and

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