Full resolution (JPEG) - On this page / på denna sida - Part IV - VI
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Spring had returned in the autumn of our lives! And
had we not dreaded the approach of the winter?
I was fast again in her toils. She was convinced that
the love philtre which she had given me to drink had
intoxicated me afresh, and relapsed into her former
indifference. She neglected her appearance, and despite
all my remonstrances no longer took the trouble to make
the best of herself. I foresaw that the result would be
coldness on both sides, in spite of ourselves. Even her
preference for her own sex reappeared, more dangerous
and more pitiable, for this time she made love to young
girls.
One evening we had invited the commandant and his
fourteen-year-old daughter, our hostess and her daughter,
a girl of fifteen, and a third girl of about the same age
to a quiet little dinner-party, which was to be followed
by a dance.
Towards midnight—to this day I grow hot when I think
of it—I saw that Marie, who had been drinking freely,
had gathered the young girls round her and, looking at
them with lascivious eyes, was kissing them on the lips.
The commandant was watching the scene from a dark
corner of the room, hardly able to control himself. In
imagination I saw prison, penal servitude, a scandal which
we could never live down; I made a rush at the group
and broke it up, telling the girls to join in the
dancing....
When we were left alone I took Marie to task. We
argued and stormed till daylight. Since she had had
more wine than was good for her, she lost her head and
confessed things which I had never even dreamed of.
Beside myself with anger, I repeated all my
indictments, all my suspicions, and added a new charge, in
which I did not really believe myself.
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