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disappeared without paying his debts. Near the
table the Russians have placed a statuette, a
warrior with the conventional scythe, possibly
to frighten me! A young fellow belonging to
the house goes behind my back to the lavatory
with the thinly concealed purpose of annoying
me. The court is as narrow as a mineshaft,
and admits no sunlight over the high walls.
The women who live in the different storeys
make obscene remarks over our heads. Domestic
servants come with their baskets full of rubbish
in order to empty them into the dustbin. It
is hell itself! Moreover, my two neighbours,
notoriously immoral characters, try, with their
disgusting talk, to entangle me in a quarrel.
Why am I here? Because loneliness compels
me to seek human society and to hear human
voices. Just as my mental suffering reaches its
highest pitch, I discover some pansies blooming
in the tiny flower-bed. They shake their heads
as though they wished to warn me of a danger,
and one of them with a child’s face and large
eyes signals to me, “Go away!” I rise and
pay; as I go out the young fellow mentioned
above greets me with concealed contempt, which
irritates me. But I remain quiet.
I feel pity for myself and shame for the others.
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