- Project Runeberg -  The Inferno /
184

(1913) [MARC] Author: August Strindberg Translator: Claud Field
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Full resolution (JPEG) - On this page / på denna sida - X. The Eternal has Spoken

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even though I have to tramp the high roads.
“I have become like a pelican of the wilderness,
and like an owl in the desert.” My presence
is a trial to my relatives, and but for my love
to the child, they would have hurried me away.
Now that mud or snow makes walking difficult,
I carry the little one along the paths on my
arms, climb hills, and clamber up rocks, so that
both the old ladies say, “You will make yourself
ill, you will get giddy, you will kill yourself.”
“And a beautiful death that would be!” I
reply.

*



On the 20th of November, a grey, gloomy,
dreary day, we sit at the mid-day meal. Altogether
worn-out after a sleepless night and new
conflicts with the Invisible, I curse life, and
lament that no sun shines.

My mother-in-law has prophesied that I will
not be well till Candlemas (February 2nd),
when the sun returns again. “That is my only
ray of sunlight,” I answer, pointing to my little
Christina who sits opposite to me. At this
moment the clouds, which have been massed
together for weeks, part, and through the cleft
a ray of light shines into the room and illuminates
my face, the table-cover, the glasses.

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