- Project Runeberg -  The Inferno /
186

(1913) [MARC] Author: August Strindberg Translator: Claud Field
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allowed an insect to hear His voice, this insect
felt elevated and puffed up by such an honour,
considering itself in its pride to be possessed of
some special desert. To speak freely, I felt
myself almost on a level with the Lord, as an
integral part of His personality, an emanation
of His being, an organ of His organism. He
needed me in order to reveal Himself; otherwise
he would have sent a thunderbolt and struck
me dead upon the spot. But whence springs
this monstrous arrogance in a mortal? Must
I trace my origin to the primeval Titans who
revolted against a despot who delighted in ruling
over slaves? Is this why my earthly pilgrimage
has become a mere running the gauntlet, while
the dregs of humanity delight to strike, spit on,
and defile me? There is no imaginable humiliation
which I have not endured, yet the more I
am crushed the more my pride asserts itself. I am
like Jacob wrestling with the angel, and though a
little lamed, maintaining the conflict manfully;
or Job, chastised, and yet steadily justifying
himself in the face of undeserved punishments.

Attacked by so many conflicting thoughts, I
relapse from my megalomania, and feel so
insignificant, that the incident dwindles down
to a mere nothing—a thunder-clap in November.

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