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213

(1913) [MARC] Author: August Strindberg Translator: Claud Field
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XIV


TRIBULATIONS



Interned in this little university town, without
hope of getting out of it, I engage in the terrible
fight against my worst enemy—myself.
Every morning, when I go for a walk on the
wall under the plane trees, the large red lunatic
asylum reminds me of the danger I have escaped,
and of that which still awaits me, if I
relapse. Swedenborg, by explaining to me the
true character of my terrors during the last year,
has delivered me from the fear of electricians,
“black” magicians, wizards, the ambition of the
gold-maker, and from madness. He has pointed
out the only way to salvation: to seek out the
demons in their dens within myself, and there
to slay them by—repentance. Balzac, the Prophet’s
assistant, has taught me in Séraphita that
“Pain of conscience is a weakness which does
not put an end to sin; repentance is the only
power which makes a decisive end of all.” Very

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