Full resolution (JPEG) - On this page / på denna sida - Part one - IX
<< prev. page << föreg. sida << >> nästa sida >> next page >>
Below is the raw OCR text
from the above scanned image.
Do you see an error? Proofread the page now!
Här nedan syns maskintolkade texten från faksimilbilden ovan.
Ser du något fel? Korrekturläs sidan nu!
This page has been proofread at least once.
(diff)
(history)
Denna sida har korrekturlästs minst en gång.
(skillnad)
(historik)
of them had been worse off than she. She thought of all the
young girls — and the old ones — who had taught at the school;
nearly all of them had an old mother to support, or sisters and
brothers to help. And Gunnar? — and Gram? Even Cesca,
the spoilt child from a rich home, had fought her way, since
she had left home at twenty-one and kept herself on the little
money left her by her mother.
As to loneliness, she had chosen it herself. All said and
done, she had perhaps not been quite sure about her own powers,
and to deaden her doubts, had held by the idea that she was
different from other people — and they had been repelled.
She had made some headway since, had proved to herself that
she could do something, and had grown more friendly, less
reserved, than before. She was obliged to admit that she had
never made any advances, either as a child or since; she had
always been too proud to take the first step. All the friends
she had — from her stepfather to Gunnar and Cesca — had
first stretched out their hands to her. And why had she
always imagined that she was passionate? Such nonsense! She
who had reached twenty-eight without ever having been the
least in love. She believed that she would not be a failure as
a woman, if once she were fond of a man, for she was healthy,
good looking, and had sound instincts, which her work and
outdoor life had developed. And very naturally she longed
to love and be loved — longed to live. But to imagine that she
would be able, from sheer rebellion of her senses, to fall into
the arms of any man who happened to be near at a critical
moment was utter nonsense. It was only because she would not
admit to herself that she was dull sometimes and wished to
make a conquest and flirt a little just like other girls — a
pastime which in reality she did not approve of — that she
preferred to imagine she was consumed by a thirst for life and
clamouring senses. Such high-flown words were only invented
by men, poor things, not knowing that women generally are
<< prev. page << föreg. sida << >> nästa sida >> next page >>
