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old dear one. I cannot say how I am longing
for you. We must remain friends to the end of
our lives. What would my life be without you?’
And in another letter :
‘My brother-in-law has made up his mind to
remain in St Petersburg until my sister is able
to go to Paris with him. So I have made my
sacrifice quite in vain. If I knew that you were
free, I should now be able to meet you in Paris,
though, to tell the truth, the events here have
quite taken away my wish for amusement. I
should much prefer to settle down in some place
where I might work in peace, do no matter what,
mathematics or literature, if only it could make
me forget myself and everybody else. If you
are longing for me as much as I am for you, I
should be very happy to go wherever you are.
But if your summer is entirely taken up, which
I think most probable, I shall remain here for a
few weeks more, and then return to Stockholm,
where I shall settle down somewhere amongst
the rocks and work with all my might. I am not
now going to make arrangements for pleasure.
You know I am a fatalist, and I think I read in
the stars that I must not expect anything good
this summer; so it is better to content one’s self,
and make no vain efforts.’
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