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been much admired in Helsingfors and St
Petersburg, had hurried from feast to feast, met a
number of highly distinguished persons, and
made a speech in the presence of a thousand
people. She assured me that she had enjoyed
herself immensely, that she was very hopeful
indeed; still there was something mysterious
about her, and she would not speak out plainly.
She anxiously avoided being alone with me as
if afraid of being questioned. We spent a gay
time together, talking and joking continually,
but it was painful for me to notice how excited
and restless she really was. She said nothing
about her inner life, except that she meant never
to marry.
She did not care to do like other women, who
marry as soon as an opportunity offers, giving
up their vocation and everything else. She had
made up her mind to remain in Stockholm,
either till she had got a better position
somewhere else, or until she could make a sufficient
income as an authoress.
However, she made no secret of having
appointed to meet M. again, and to take a journey
with him—her best friend and companion, as she
called him.
Some months later we met again in
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