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126 228 . the miracles of antichrist
stands innocent and smiling, and is unconscious of
any blame. " Come and love me anew," it says.
And you cannot but be glad and grateful, because it
is willing to receive your love.
Ah, when you ascend the zig-zag road which leads
to the city gate ! The thin shadow from the olive
falls upon you. Was it not intended as a caress ?
A little lizard rattles along over a wall. You must
stop and look. May not that lizard be a friend from
childhood who wishes to say how do you do ?
All at once you become frightened. The heart
begins to beat and bounce. You remember that
you do not know what you will hear on coming
home. You have written no letters and received
none. Everything which reminded of home was
cast away, rejected. That was thought to be the
wisest, since you never more should be allowed to
come home. And up to this moment everything
connected with home has been dead and
indifferent.
But at this moment you do not know how you
can bear it, if everything here on one’s native
mountain is not wholly as it used to be. It will make
your heart sore if Monte Chiaro has lost a palm, or
if a single stone has got loose in the city wall.
Will the large agave still be standing on its ledge ?
No, the agave is no longer there, it has bloomed and
been cut down. And the stone bench at the bend
of the road is broken. That bench you will miss, it
used to be such a splendid resting-place. And lo,
they have built a barn on the green spot under the
almond-trees. You will never more be able to
stretch yourself there on the blossoming clover.
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