- Project Runeberg -  Sónya Kovalévsky. Her recollections of childhood with a biography of Anna Carlotta Leffler /
30

(1895) [MARC] Author: Sofja Kovalevskaja, Anne Charlotte Leffler, Ellen Key
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30

SÖNYA KOVALÉVSKY

in the middle of the day, and perceiving that nurse
was carefully and anxiously making tea at an entirely
unfitting hour, she asked her, in perfect innocence:
" For whom is this, nurse f"

" For Marya Vasilievna, of course. Why ? Is it
proper in your opinion, to leave her without tea in
her illness ? We servants have Christian souls!"
replied nurse, in so harsh and exasperated a tone, that
mama was quite confused, and made haste to depart.

And a few hours earlier this very same nurse
would have been capable of beating Marya Vasilievna
half to death had she been permitted.

A few days later Marya Vasilievna recovered, to
the great joy of my parents, and went on living in
our house as before. No further mention was made
of what had happened. I believe that even among
the servants there was not one who reproached her
with the past.

So far as I was concerned, from that day forth I
began to feel for her a sort of strange pity, mingled
with instinctive horror. I did not run to her room
as formerly. When I met her in the corridor I
involuntarily pressed close to the wall, and tried not to
look at her. It always seemed to me as if she were
on the point of falling on the floor, and beginning to
writhe and shriek.

Marya Vasilievna must have observed my
estrangement, and she endeavored in various ways to regain
my former liking. I remember that she invented
some little surprise for me nearly every day. She
would bring me colored scraps, or make a new gown
for my doll; but all this did no good. My feeling of
secret terror of her did not pass off, and I ran away
as soon as I was left alone with her.

However, I soon came under the authority of my

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