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RECOLLECTIONS OF CHILDHOOD
51
My mother and my governess were of such entirely
different natures that no sympathy whatever could
exist between them. My mother, in character and
appearance, belonged to that class of women who never
grow old. There was a great difference of age
between her and my father, and my father even to old
age continued to treat her like a child. He called
her Liza or Lizok, while she always addressed him
as Yasily Vasilievitch. He sometimes reproved her
even in the presence of us children. " You ’re
talking nonsense again, Lizotchka!" we heard quite
frequently. And mama never took offense at this
remark ; if she continued to insist on her own way, it
was only like a spoiled child, who has a right to
desire even what is irrational.
Mama was decidedly afraid of our governess,
because the independent Englishwoman frequently
spoke the truth to her with cruel boldness — claimed
to be the sole and sovereign mistress in the rooms
belonging to us children, and received mama there
as a mere guest. Consequently mama did not look
in on us very often, and did not meddle with my
education in the least.
As for me, I was very enthusiastic in my own heart
over my mama, who seemed to me more beautiful
and charming than all the ladies of our acquaintance;
but, at the same time, I constantly felt rather hurt —
why did she love me less than the other children ?
I am sitting in the school-room of an evening; my
lessons for the morrow are all ready; but still the
governess, on various pretexts, does not let me go
up-stairs. In the mean time sounds of music reach us
from the hall up-stairs, which is situated directly over
the school-room. Mama is in the habit of playing
the piano in the evening. She plays for hours to-
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