- Project Runeberg -  Sónya Kovalévsky. Her recollections of childhood with a biography of Anna Carlotta Leffler /
128

(1895) [MARC] Author: Sofja Kovalevskaja, Anne Charlotte Leffler, Ellen Key
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128

SÖNYA KOVALÉVSKY

landed proprietor, has been well and elegantly
educated, and has been abroad, reads learned books, buys
pictures and engravings. He has been wild in his
youth, but has settled down later on; has become
possessed of a wife and children, and enjoys universal
respect.

One morning he wakes early, and the rising sun is
peeping in at his window. Everything around him is
very clean, nice, and comfortable, and he feels himself
clean and respectable. His whole body is permeated
with a sensation of contentment and repose. Like a
genuine sybarite, he makes no haste to rouse
himself wholly, in order that he may prolong, as much
as possible, this agreeable state of general, vegetating
well-being.

Halting on a sort of middle point between sleep and
waking, he mentally reviews the various best
moments in his recent trip abroad. Again he sees the
wonderful streak of light falling on the bare shoulders
of Saint Cecilia in the Munich gallery. Some very
clever passages also recur to his mind, from a book
which he has recently read, "about the beauty and
harmony of the world."

Suddenly, at the very height of these pleasant
reveries, and living over of the past, he feels
uncomfortable— it is not exactly an internal pain, not exactly
uneasiness. It is the sort of thing which happens
with people who have old gunshot wounds, from
which the ball has not been extracted. A moment
ago there was no pain, and suddenly the old wound
begins to gnaw, and gnaw, and gnaw.

Our landed proprietor begins to think and to reflect:
what is the meaning of this 1 He has no pain; he has
no grief; but it seems as if cats were clawing at his
heart, and it gets worse and worse. It begins to seem

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