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A BIOGRAPHY
227
to this the heat which softens my brain, and you can then
picture what I am like at this moment. In a word, the result is
that all the small influences and forces which dominate your
poor friend are strong enough to keep me here till August 1st.
The only thing I can hope for is to meet you in Normandy, and
to go on with your brother to Aberdeen. Write soon to me,
dear Anna Carlotta. How happy you are ! You cannot imagine
how I envy you. Do at least write to me. I shall do my best to
join you in Normandy. Bien à toi.
sönya.
As usual, there is no date to her letters, but at
about the same time she wrote to my brother:
Cher Monsieur : I have received your kind letter, No. 8, and
I hasten to answer though I have little or nothing to tell you;
our life is monotonous to that degree that I lose the power,
not only of working, but of caring for anything. I feel that if
this lasts much longer I shall become a vegetable. It is really
curious, the less you have to do the less you are able to work.
Here I do absolutely nothing. I sit all day long with my
embroidery in my hand, but without an idea in my head. The
heat begins to be stifling. After the rain we had at first, the
summer has set in quite hot — a regular Russian summer. You
could boil eggs in the shade !
To her friend Mr. H-, in Berlin, she also writes
an amusing account of her life that summer:
I am now staying with my friend Julia L-, on a small estate
of hers in the neighborhood of Moscow. I have found my
daughter bright and well. I do not know which of us has been the
happiest in the reunion. We are not going to be separated any
more, for I am going to take her back with me to Stockholm.
She is nearly six, and is a very sensible child for her age. Every
one thinks she is like me, and I really think she is like what I
was in my childhood. My friend is very depressed; she has just
lost her only sister, so it is rather dull and dismal just now in
this house. Our circle of acquaintances consists entirely of old
ladies. Four old maids live with us; and as they all go about
in deep mourning, our house seems almost like a convent. We
also eat a great deal, as people do in convents; and four times a
day we drink tea, with all sorts of jams, sweetmeats, and cakes
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