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A BIOGRAPHY
263
made the acquaintance of the man who was to exercise
such a powerful influence on the rest of her career.
She writes:
You also ask me other questions, which I do not even wish
to answer to myself—so you must excuse me if I do not answer
them to you. I am afraid of making plans for the future. The
only thing that unfortunately is certain is that I must spend
two months and a half at Stockholm. But perhaps it is just as
well for me to realize how really I am alone in life.
I had written to Sönya that I had heard from some
Scandinavians in Rome that Nansen had been already
engaged for several years. In answer to this I received
the following merry letter:
Dear Anna Carlotta: Sourent femme varie, bicn fol est qui
s’y fie. If I had received your letter with its awful news a few
weeks ago, it would no doubt have broken my heart. But now
I confess, to my shame, that when I read your deeply
sympathetic lines yesterday, I could not help bursting out into
laughter. It was a hard day for me, for stout M-was leaving
that evening. I hope some of the family have already told you
of the change in our plans, so that I need not mention that
subject to-day. On the whole, I think this change of plan good for
me personally. For if stout M-had stayed longer, I do not
know how I should have got on with my work. He is so great, so
grossgeschlagen,—according to R-’s happy expression,— that
he really takes up too much room on the sofa and in one’s mind.
It is simply impossible for me, in his presence, to think of any
one or anything else but him. During the ten days he spent in
Stockholm we were constantly together, generally téte-à-téte,
and spoke of scarcely anything but ourselves, and that with a
frankness which would have amazed you. Still I cannot, in
spite of all this, analyze my feelings for him. I think I could
best give my impressions of him in music set to De Musset’s
incomparable words:
" II est très joyeux, et pourtant très maussade —
Détestable voisin, excellent camarade —
Extrëmement futil, et pourtant très posé —
Indignement naif, et pourtant très blasé —
Horriblement sincère, et pourtant très rusé."
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