Full resolution (JPEG) - On this page / på denna sida - Sidor ...
<< prev. page << föreg. sida << >> nästa sida >> next page >>
Below is the raw OCR text
from the above scanned image.
Do you see an error? Proofread the page now!
Här nedan syns maskintolkade texten från faksimilbilden ovan.
Ser du något fel? Korrekturläs sidan nu!
This page has never been proofread. / Denna sida har aldrig korrekturlästs.
286
SÖNYA KOVALÉVSKY
me painfully, for I saw how nervous and overexcited
she really was, and how utterly out of tune. The only
thing she said to me about her personal concerns was
that she never intended to marry again; that she
would not be so commonplace; she would not do as
other women did—forsake her work and mission in
order to marry as soon as she had a chance. She did
not want to leave her post at Stockholm until she had
won such a sure position as an author that she conkl
support herself by her writings. She did not deny
that she wished to meet and travel with M-, who
was to her the best of friends and comrades.
A few months later we again met at Stockholm,
where she had resumed her lectures in September.
Once more her forced gaiety had vanished. She was
still more out of sorts, and troubled with an increasing
restlessness. I had no opportunity of seeing deeper
into her heart. She hid her feelings from me. She
continued to shun a téte-à-tète, and, on the whole, showed
herself more or less indifferent to all who formerly had
been her most intimate friends. It was evident that
her heart was elsewhere, and that she felt these months
at Stockholm as a kind of banishment. She counted
the days that must pass before the Christmas holidays,
when she meant to travel. She was in a desperate
condition. She could neither manage to live without or
with M-. Thus her life had lost its balance. She
was like an uprooted plant—could not strike root
again, and seemed to wither away.
When my brother removed to Djursholm, in the villa
quarter of Stockholm, he tried to persuade Sönya to
come to the same neighborhood. She had always liked
to live near him, so that they might meet as often as
possible. But though my brother’s removal to new
quarters was a great trial to her, and she felt more
<< prev. page << föreg. sida << >> nästa sida >> next page >>
