- Project Runeberg -  The Confession of a Fool /
9

(1912) [MARC] Author: August Strindberg Translator: Ellie Schleussner
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On hearing this, her manner changed. She talked to
me like a grandmother, began to pity the girl, questioned
me about her character, her looks, her social status, her
circumstances. I painted a portrait well calculated to
excite her jealousy. Our eager conversation languished.
My guardian angel’s interest in me waned when she
suspected a rival who might possibly be equally anxious to
save my soul.

We parted, still under the influence of the chill which
had gradually arisen between us.

When we met on the following day we talked exclusively
of love and my supposed fiancée.

But after we had visited theatres and concerts for a
week and taken numerous walks together, she had gained
her object. The daily intercourse with her had become
a habit of which I felt unable to break myself.
Conversation with a woman who is above the commonplace has
an almost sensual charm. The souls touch, the spirits
embrace each other.

One morning, on meeting her as usual, I found her
almost beside herself. She was full of a letter which she
had just received. Her fiancé was furiously jealous. She
accused herself of having been indiscreet; he was
recommending her the utmost reserve in her intercourse with
me: he seemed to have a presentiment that the matter
would end badly.

“I can’t understand such detestable jealousy,” she said,
deeply distressed.

“Because you don’t understand the meaning of the
word ‘love,’” I answered.

“Love! Ugh!”

“Love, my dear lady, is consciousness of possession in
its greatest intensity. Jealousy is but the fear of losing
what one possesses.”

“Possesses! Disgusting!”

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