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106 THE CONFESSION OF A FOOL
friendship ; firmly, without any explanation, I asked for
forgiveness of my sins, blamed myself for having caused
ill-feeling between relatives, and goodness knows what else
I said I
The result was that I met the Baroness, as if by accident,
on leaving the library at my usual time. She stopped me
on the North Bridge, and we walked together through
one of the avenues leading to Charles XII Square.
Almost with tears in her eyes she entreated me to come
back, not to ask for explanations, but just to be one of
them again as in the old days.
She was charming this morning. But I loved her too
dearly to compromise her.
"Leave me! You are ruining your reputation," I
said, watching the passers-by, whose curious glances
embarrassed us. ’’
Go home at once, or I shall leave you
standing here !
"
She looked at me with eyes so full of misery that I
longed to kneel down before her, kiss her feet and ask
her forgiveness.
But instead I turned my back on her and hastily dis-
appeared down a side street.
After dinner I went home to my attic, glowing with
the satisfaction of a duty done, but with a broken heart.
Her eyes haunted me.
A short rest gave me back ni)^ determination. I rose
and looked at the almanac which hung on the wall. It
was the thirteenth of March. "Beware the Ides of
March !
" These famous words, which Shakespeare
quotes in his Jnliufi Csesnr, sounded in my ears as the
servant entered, bringing me a note from the Baron.
In it he begged me to spend a lonely evening with him,
saying that his wife was not well and that Matilda was
going out.
I had not the nerve to refuse, and so I went.
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