Full resolution (JPEG) - On this page / på denna sida - Part I - IX
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116 THE CONFESSION OF A FOOL
seized with an attack of hysterics. She threw herself on
the sofa and burst into tears, infuriated with the disgrace-
ful conduct of her husband, who was spending the evening
with Matilda at a regimental ball.
In a passionate outburst she threw her arms round me
and kissed me on the forehead. I returned kiss for kiss.
She called me by endearing names.
The bond between us was growing stronger and my
passion was increasing.
In the course of the evening I recited Longfellow’s
"Excelsior " to her. Genuinely touched by this beauti-
ful poem, I fixed my eyes on her, and as if she were
hypnotised, her face reflected every shade of feeling
expressed on my own. She had the appearance of an
ecstatic, of a seer.
After supper her maid called for her with a cab to take
her home. I meant to come no further with her than
the street, but she insisted on my getting into the cab,
and in spite of my protestations she ordered her maid to
sit on the box, by the side of the driver. As soon as I
was alone with her I took her in my arms, silently, with-
out a word. I felt her delicate body thrill and yield
under my kisses. But I shrank from crime—and left her
at her door, unhurt, ashamed of herself and, perhaps,
also a little angry.
I no longer had any doubts now ; I saw clearly. She
was trying to tempt me. It was she who had giveji the
first kiss, she who had taken the initiative in everything.
From this moment I was going to play the part of the
tempter, for, although a man of firm principles on the
point of honour, I Avas by no means a Joseph.
On the following day we met at the National Museum.
How I adored her as I saw her coming up the marble
staircase, under the gilded ceiling, as I watched her little
feet tripping over the flags of variegated stucco, her
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