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THE CONFESSION OF A FOOL 141
implored me with her eyes ; the ice melted ; the sorceress
won; I wavered ... I succmnbed. . . .
’’To Katrineholm then! "
’’
Very well, if you’d rather."
She was having her luggage registered.
Everything was lost, including honour, and I had before
me the prospect of a painful journey.
The train moved out of the station. We were alone in
a first-class compartment. The Baron’s non-appearance
had depressed us. It was an unforeseen danger and a bad
omen. An uneasy silence reigned in the carriage; one of
us had to break it. She was the one to speak.
" Axel, you don’t love me any more !
"
"Perhaps not," I replied," worn out })y a month of
chaos.
" And I have sacrificed everything to you !
"
’’Sacrificed everything? . . . To your love, perhaps,
but not to me. And have I not sacrificed my life to you?
You are angry with Gustav and you’re venting your anger
on me ... be reasonable."
Tears, tears ! What a wedding tour ! I steeled my
nerves, put on my armour. I became indifferent,
impenetrable.
"Restrain your emotions! From to-day you must use
your common-sense. Weep, weep until the source of your
tears is dry, but then lift up your head. You are a foolish
woman, and I have honoured you as a queen, as a ruler ! I
have done your bidding because I thought myself the
weaker of the two! Unfortunately! Don’t make me
despise you. Don’t ever try to blame me alone for what
has happened. I admired Gustav ’s shrewdness last night.
He has realised that the great events in life have always
more than one cause. Who is to blame? You? I?
He ? She ? The threatening ruin, your passion for the
stage, your internal trouble, the inheritance from your
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