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144 THE CONFESSION OF A FOOL
I arrived at the village inn than I broke down. I loved
her, yes, I loved her, just as I had seen her at the moment
of parting ; for that moment recalled to me the first sAveet
days of our friendship, when she was the lovely, womanly
tender mother, who spoiled and caressed me as if I had
been a little child.
And yet I loved her ardently, desired to make this
stormy woman my wife.
I asked for writing material, and wrote her a letter in
Avhich I told her that I would pray to God for her
happiness.
Her last embrace had led me back to God, and, under
the influence of her parting kiss, still fresh on my lips, I
denied the new faith, which teaches the progress of
humanity.
The first stage in the downfall of a man had been
reached ; the others were sure to follow—to utter degrada-
tion, to the verge of insanity.
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