Full resolution (JPEG) - On this page / på denna sida - Part II - I
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THE CONFESSION OF A FOOL 149
nevertheless, a slight feeling of anger remained at the
bottom of my heart, and presently found vent in a torrent
of reproaches. Subdued by my impetuosity, which con-
trasted so strangely with her own indolent nature, she
took refuge in tears.
*’How can you be so absurd as to imagine that I was
flirting with that young man ? " she sobbed. " 1 promise
you never to write to him again, although I’m sure he’ll
think it rude of me."
Rude ! One of her favourite catchwords ! A man
pays her attention, in otlier words makes advances to hej-,
and she listens politely, for fear of being rude. What
a woman !
But fate was against me. I was lying at her feet, her
beautiful little feet, encased in tiny shoes. She was wear-
ing black silk stockings, which added to my confusion ;
her leg was a little fuller than it had been ; the black legs
in a cloud of petticoats were the legs of a she-devil.
Her constant fear of motherhood irritated me ; I lied to
her ; I told her that she had nothing to fear from me ;
that I knew how to cheat nature. I repeated my assur-
ances until I finished by believing in them myself, and
in the end succeeded in setting her mind at ease by
promising to be responsible for all consequences.
Slie was living with her mother and aunt in the second
story of a house in one of the main thoroughfares. As
she threatened to visit me in my own room if the}’ pre-
vented me from seeing her, I was allowed to call. But
the thought of the supervision of these two old women,
whom I knew to be watching us through the keyhole all
the time, was almost beyond bearing.
The divorced husband and wife were beginning to
realise how much they had lost. The Baroness, once a
respected married woman, mistress of an aristocratic
establishment, had returned to the conditions of her
childhood. She was under the control of her mother,
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