- Project Runeberg -  The Confession of a Fool /
157

(1912) [MARC] Author: August Strindberg Translator: Ellie Schleussner
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II
Her appearance under the patronage of the two famous
actors was announced in the autumn and put a stop to
all gossip. I did not like the part chosen for her. It
was a small character-part in an old-fashioned play. But
her teacher and patron counted on the sympathy of tlie
audience and the effect of a good scene, in which she
refused an aristocratic suitor who saw in her a rare orna-
ment for his drawing-room, and declared that in her eyes
the noble heart of the poor young man was infinitely more
precious than all the wealtli and title of the nobleman.
As I was dismissed from my post as her teacher, I was
able to devote all my time and attention to my scientific
studies, and the writing of a paper destined for some
academy or other. This was necessary in order to prove
myself a man of letters and efficient librarian. With
ardent zeal I gave myself up to ethnographical research
in connection with the farthest East. It acted like opium
on my brain, which was exhausted by the struggles, cares
and pains I had undergone. Inspired by the ambition to
show myself worthy of my beloved, whose future appeared
in the rosiest hues, I achieved wonders of industry ; I shut
myself up in the vaults of the Royal Castle from morning
till night ; I suffered from the damp and icy atmosphere
without a complaint ; I defied poverty and need.
Marie’s appearance in public was postponed by the
death of her little daughter, who died of brain fever ;
another month of tears, reproaches and remorse followed.
’’
It is a judgment on you," declared the child’s grand-
is?

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