- Project Runeberg -  The Confession of a Fool /
198

(1912) [MARC] Author: August Strindberg Translator: Ellie Schleussner
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V
In the commencement of the new year a general crisis
shook the credit of the old country, and the Bank which
had issued the shares lent to me by Marie failed. I
received notice that the loan would be called in. I was
forced to pay cash for the sum I had been compelled to
guarantee. It was a heavy blow, but after endless diffi-
culties I came to terms with the creditors, who agreed to
a year’s respite. It was a terrible year, the worst period
of my life.
As soon as things were a little more settled I began to
make every effort to extricate myself.
In addition to my work at the library I started a novel
on modern morals and customs ; filled newspapers and
periodicals with essays, and completed my scientific
treatise. Marie, at the expiration of her contract with
the theatre, was re-engaged for another year, but her pay
was reduced to fourteen hundred crowns. . . . Now I
was better off than she, for she had lost her capital in
the general smash.
She was in a vile temper, and made me suffer for it.
To re-establish the equilibrium, and thinking of nothing
but her independence, she attempted to raise a loan, but
these attempts proved abortive and only led to unpleasant-
ness. Acting thoughtlessly, despite her good intentions,
she did me harm with her efforts to save herself and render
my task more easy. I appreciated her good intentions,
but I could not help remonstrating.
Always capricious and wayward, she showed unmis-
takable signs of malice and fresh events disclosed a state
of mind which filled me with apprehension.
198

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