Full resolution (JPEG) - On this page / på denna sida - Part III - VIII
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THE CONFESSION OF A FOOL 213
and in the evening I admitted all her charges; I agreed
that three thousand is three times as much as ten thou-
sand ! that I was a blackguard, a miser, a ’’bel ami,"
who had risen at the expense of his adored wife, adored
more especially in her nightgown.
She poured all her venom into the first chapter of a
novel, the subject of which was the exploitation of an
oppressed wife by a criminal husband. Through my writ-
ings, on the other hand, always glided the white wraith
of a lovely golden-haired woman, a madonna, a young
mother. I was for ever chanting her praises, creating a
glorious myth round the figure of the wondrous woman
who by God’s grace had been sent to brighten the thorny
path of a poet. . . .
And the critics never tired of lauding the " good
genius " of a pessimistic novelist, of pouring on her full
measures of entirely undeserved praise. . . .
The more I suffered under the persecutions of my
shrew, the more eagerly I strove to weave a crown of
light for her sacred head. The more I was depressed
by the reality, the more I became inspired by my
hallucinations of her loveliness . . . alas for the magic of
love !
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