Full resolution (JPEG) - On this page / på denna sida - Part III - XI
<< prev. page << föreg. sida << >> nästa sida >> next page >>
Below is the raw OCR text
from the above scanned image.
Do you see an error? Proofread the page now!
Här nedan syns maskintolkade texten från faksimilbilden ovan.
Ser du något fel? Korrekturläs sidan nu!
This page has never been proofread. / Denna sida har aldrig korrekturlästs.
THE CONFESSION OF A FOOL 223
with pride. She was allowed to choose her next part ;
the result was a complete fiasco. Now she could ro
longer deny the fact that it was I who had made her,
that she had to thank me for her laurels, and feeling
herself in my debt, the strength of her hatred increased.
She besieged the various theatrical managers, but could
find no engagement. Eventually I was obliged to reopen
negotiations with Finland. I was willing to leave my
country, my friends, my publisher, to settle in the midst
of her friends who were my enemies. But Finland would
have none of her. Her career was over.
During all this time she led the life of a woman free
from all duties as mother and wife. My health did not
permit me to accompany her to the artistic circles which
she frequented, and consequently she went alone. Some-
times she did not come home until early in the morning,
very often she was intoxicated and made sufficient noise
to wake up the whole house. I could hear her stumbling
into the night nursery where she slept.
What is a man to do in a case of this sort,’’ Is he to
denounce his own wife ? Impossible ! Divorce her ? No !
I looked upon the family as an organism, like the organism
of a plant ; a whole, of which I was a part. I could not
exist independently of it ; without the mother, life seemed
impossible to me, even if I had had the custody of the
children. My heart’s blood, transmitted through my wife,
flowed through the veins of their small bodies. The whole
Avas like a system of arteries intimately connected and
interdependent. If a single one were cut, my life would
ebb away with the blood which trickled down and was
sucked up by the sand. For this reason the infidelity of
the wife is a terrible crime. One cannot help sympathis-
ing with the "Kill her! " of a well-known author, who
shows us a father stricken to death because he has come
to doubt the legitimacy of his offspring.
<< prev. page << föreg. sida << >> nästa sida >> next page >>
