Full resolution (JPEG) - On this page / på denna sida - Part III - XIII
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THE CONFESSION OF A FOOL 235
She wove a martyr’s crown for her own head, acted
with absolute independence behind my back, and, as I
discovered later on, went so far as to borrow money from
my friends in my name. At the same time valuable pieces
of furniture disappeared from our house, and were carted
to adventuress No. 1, to be sold by the latter.
All this aroused my attention.
’*
Had Marie expenses of which I was ignorant? " I
often asked myself this question. Was this the cause of
those secret sales? The cause of the enormous house-
keeping expenditure ? And if this was the cause, what
was the object of them ? I enjoyed the income of a
Swedish minister of State, a larger income than that of a
Swedish general, and yet I led a miserable life ; it was as
if my feei were fettered, as if I were dragging a leaden
weight with me wherever I went. And yet we lived very
simply. Our table was the table of a labourer ; the food
was cooked so badly that it was at times uneatable. We
drank beer or brand}^, like a working-man ; our cellar
was so inferior that our friends upbraided us more than
once. I smoked nothing but a pipe. I had hardly any
recreation, only very occasionally, about once a month,
I spent an evening with friends.
Once only, beside myself with anger, I determined to
look into the matter. I asked an experienced lady for
advice. She laughed when I asked her whether our house-
hold expenses were not rather high, and told me that we
must be mad.
I had every reason therefore to believe in extraordinary
and secret expenditure. But the object? the object?
Relations ? friends ? lovers ? Nobody cares to enlighten
a husband, and so everybody becomes an accessory in
crime. . . .
After endless preparations the date of our departure
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