Full resolution (JPEG) - On this page / på denna sida - Part IV - V
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THE CONFESSION OF A FOOL 279
denouncing my unfounded suspicions ; she conducted her
case as a criminal conducts his defence.
And yet I was innocent, quite innocent, in spite of
all my opportunities to sin. . . .
She produced two glasses of beer, and they drank
together. They sat down, side by side, and Marie looked
at her caressingly. Closer and closer she moved to the
girl, put her head on the shoulders of this new friend,
slipped her arm round her waist and kissed her. . . .
Poor Marie ! Poor, unhappy woman, who sought
comfort far from me, who alone could set her mind at
rest and give her peace. All of a sudden she drew herself
up, listened, and pointed towards the door.
"Some one’s there!
"’
I slipped away.
When I returned to my post of observation I noticed
that Marie was half undressed, exposing her shoulders to
the gaze of the girl, who, however, remained quite
unmoved. Then she resumed her defence,
"There can be no doubt that he is mad! I shouldn’t
be surprised if he tried to poison me. ... I suffer unbear-
able pains in my inside. . . . But no, it’s hardly prob-
able . . . perhaps I ought to fly to Finland. . . . What
do you think? . . . Only it would kill him, for he loves
the children. ..."
What was this, if not the outpourings of an evil con-
science? . . . Stung with remorse, she was terror-stricken
and sought refuge on the bosom of a woman ! She was
a perverted child ; an unfaithful wife, a criminal ; but,
above all, she was an unhappy woman.
I lay awake all night, a prey to my tormenting thoughts.
At two o’clock in the morning I heard her moaning in
her sleep. Full of pity, I knocked on the floor to dispel
the visions which terrified her. It was not the first time
that I had done this.
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