Full resolution (JPEG) - On this page / på denna sida - Penance
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how you shuddered over the worthlessness of your
heart. You would rather have met the churchyard
ghost than the demons in your own soul.
Tell them that, denied the face of God, you felt
yourself unworthy to tread the earth. You have
striven with tears and prayers. “O God, save me!
O Son of God, who cast out the devils, save me!”
you have cried.
Tell them how you thought it best to hide your
sin. No one should know your wretchedness. You
thought to please God in doing this. You thought
you were doing God’s errand when you wished to
save the man you loved. He knew nothing of your
love. He should not be lost for your sake. Did you
know what was right or what was wrong? God alone
knew it, and He has judged you. He has thrown
down the idol of your heart. He has led you into
the great, the healing path of the penitent!
Tell them that you knew that salvation did not
lie in hiding it. Demons love the darkness. May
the hands of your judges grasp the scourge! The
punishment will fall like healing balm on the sore
of your sin. Your heart longs for suffering.
Tell them all this, while you kneel on the floor
and wring your hands in tempestuous grief, crying
out in wild tones of despair, and welcoming with
a shrill laugh the thought of punishment and
disgrace, till your husband takes hold of you and drags
you up from the floor.
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