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had so abruptly left, who was antipathetic to
me, and whom I almost despised. She finds
me out, asks how I am, and tells me with tears
that the hospital is my only hope.
One can understand how helpless and humiliated
I feel, as my eloquent silence shows her
that I am penniless. She is seized with sympathy
at seeing me so prostrate. Poor herself,
and oppressed with daily anxieties, she resolves
to make a collection among the Scandinavian
colony, and to go to the pastor of the community.
A sinful woman has pity on the man who has
deserted his lawful wife!
Once more a beggar, asking for alms by means
of a woman, I begin to suspect that there is an
invisible hand which guides the irresistible logic
of events. I bow before the storm, determined
to rise again at the first opportunity.
The carriage brings me to the hospital of St.
Louis. On the way, in the Rue de Rennes, I
get out in order to buy two white shirts. The
winding-sheet for the last hour! I really expect
a speedy death, without being able to say why.
In the hospital I am forbidden to go out
without leave; besides, my hands are so wrapped up
that all occupation is impossible to me; I feel
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