- Project Runeberg -  Jenny /
216

(1921) Author: Sigrid Undset
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The love that others found enough was not enough for her—it
was better for her to dispense with it altogether than to be
contented.

Yes, she would remember, but as years went by the memory
of the short happiness mixed with so much pain and bitter
repentance would perhaps be less poignant, and she would be
able partly to wipe out the memory of the man to whom she
had done a deadly wrong—and whose child perhaps she
bore.

No; it was impossible. Why lie here brooding over it?

But if it were true....

When Jenny at last sank into a heavy and dreamless sleep
it was almost daylight, but when she awoke again with a shock,
it was not much lighter. The sky was a little more yellow
above the garden trees, and the birds were chirping sleepily.
She was instantly wide awake, and the same thoughts returned;
she would hardly get any more sleep that night, and she
resigned herself to thinking them over and over again.

III



Heggen had left; the Colonel and Borghild had
returned and gone again to pay a visit to a married
sister of Francesca’s. Jenny and Cesca were alone,
and they went about by themselves, deep in their own thoughts.

Jenny was convinced now of her condition, but she had not
been able to realize what it all meant; if she tried to think of
the future, her imagination stood still. She was, on the whole,
in a better frame of mind now than in the first desperate weeks
when she was waiting anxiously for her suspicions to be
disproved.

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