Youth and First Years in Stockholm 41 Key a pupil who would accept their instruction as a lamp to her feet. She has never stood in the personal relationship of pupil to master or had confidential intercourse with any living teacher, or confounded the man with his message, as women often do. From the dead, she has taken what she needed, and, on the whole, remained free. The Confessions of Augustine put Christian- ity before her in its strictest requirements. Any easy compromise with the pleasant things in life was not to be thought of. It must be stern and genuine Christianity. Ellen Key was now a believer, though her mental con- flicts were severe. She was much inclined to dreaming and inactivity. She preferred to bury herself in books, in peace and quiet, and here, as in nature, she sought to understand life and herself. The service of love among the sick and poor, which Christianity urged upon her, was extremely difficiilt for one of her temperament. And yet, she told herself that just this service was what Jesus expected of his true disciples. And how dared she call herself one, she who could not even bear to look at a small wound, much less overcome horror and loathing for Christ's sake? And the works of art and beauty which she adored,