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- III. Youth and the First Years in Stockholm
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44 Ellen Key
gradual progress of her development so entirely
without the influence of so-called heretical writ-
ings. She never read Victor Rydberg, for in-
stance, until after she had, of her own accord,
abandoned her belief in the Divinity of Christ.
Alone she sought light. For edification dur-
ing these years she read the Bible, Colain's
Meditations, and the sermons of the English-
man Robertson, which she re-read many times.
The works of Renan, Parker, and Ignell were
in her father's library, but, not believing it
right to subject herself to ex-parte influence,
she did not read them. She never attended
the
'
' Lord's Supper
'
' after her first communion,
feeling, even at eighteen, that she could not
fully participate in that act. After twenty,
she also refused to act as sponsor at the bap-
tism of infants, as their christening seemed
to her to be blasphemy. Gradually her heart
became severed from Christianity, and yet,
up to the age of nearly forty, she still clung to
the thought of a personal God, and a personal
immortality.
It was not until more than thirty years after
the tragedy related, and when she had been
attacked for radicalism and unbelief, that
Ellen Key felt it to be a duty and a right to
herself and to others openly to confess her
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