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HANDLINGAR TILL GEORGE SCOTTS VERKSAMHET I SVERIGE I 6 7
in being without this blessing, and led earnestly and believingly to
seek it. I found I had all my life been under the law, and was
deeply humbled in the sight of God because of my circumstances;
I besought the Lord to forgive me. I found power in that meeting
to lay hold on Christ as my Redeemer; I felt him precious; I could
without hesitation have declared then that the Lord was my portion,
my God, my Saviour; that Jesus loved me, and gave himself for
me; and through much unfaithfulness and many short-comings, the
Lord has graciously continued to me the light of his countenance,
and given me to walk in the enjoyment of his favour. During the
last year, my soul has been hungering and thirsting after
righteousness; I have been seaking a clean heart; often have I come near,
very near, the enjoyment of this state of grace, — but a fear lest I
should not be able to maintain my integrity, and by inconsistency
bring a reproach on this glorious and important doctrine, has
prevented my laying hold.
Since my coming to London, however, I have been specially
blessed; and, to the honour of God’s grace, I can now humbly yet
confidently declare, that He is faithful and just, not only to forgive my
sins, but to cleanse me from all unrighteousness. May my whole
spirit, and soul, and body, be preserved blameless to the coming of
my Lord Jesus Christ!
A great variety of circumstances have tended to confirm my
conviction, that God has chosen me to preach the unsearchable
riches of Christ. So early as my first awakenings, fourteen years
ago, I felt I must be employed in some way for the spiritual benefit
of others; it was not, however, till 1821 that I opened my mouth in
public for the Lord. I was then assistant teacher in one of the
Edinburgh Sabbath-schools, part of the duties of which office
consisted in giving an exhortation, or rather a simple essay, on a
previously selected doctrine; and I do most sincerely thank God for
leading me in this way. In August, 1825, I preached my first
sermon, and, though nearly overwhelmed by a consciousness of my
total incapacity, the voice of the people and the voice of conscience
said, »Go forward!» Even during the two or three months when
not immediately united to a religious body, I found I dared not be
idle, but associated with some young men in establishing meetings
for reading the Scriptures, exhortation, and prayer, in the more
neglected parts of the city; and again got under my charge a Sabbath
Evening School. Shortly after joining the Methodist Society, being
frequently invited to preach to seamen on board the Bethel Chapel,
I was sorely tried on the subject. It was suggested to me, »You
began preaching in a Connexion which you have discovered is not
of God — therefore your preaching is not of God.» I nearly resolved
giving it up altogether; but, whenever I made the attempt, I could
feel a cloud of thick darkness coming on my soul, withering my
IO—27480. Kyrkohist. Årsskrift J927.
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