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2-]Ö
meddelanden och aktstycken
out of all my doubts, & setled me in a way which 1 hope shall
take some effect, for I am resolved not to depend absolutely vpon
him least he turne my purpose, or any way of proceeding in it,
out of the right straine. To which effect, least I should be
car-ryed from my true ayme, or drawne over by persuasion or worldly
respects, I have made a vow to God in my sicknesse by which I
am mightily limited to a straite taske, & bounded, so that I hope
to avoyd all offence, & God willing rather then to forgoe the least
point of my vow which solemnly I have sworne, I am resolved to
endure all manner of extremities & incurre the hatred of all men
in ye world. I cannot now send you the Copie of it, because Peter
cannot suffice to write the halfe of the things which are heere to
be communicated; only this Tract de Analysi demonstrativa (which
two or three monethes agoe I should have sent & would have sent
if shipping had beene goeing from hence to your Quarters) now I
send by Post, to shew you & Mr. S[t]. A[mand] that I am still
mindfull of my promise, & that according to abilitie I will never
faile in performance of the best endeavours, but now I have beene
(as oft heretofore I have complayned to you) distracted by men
vnreasonable in lyes & contradictions seekeing by all meanes s[t] rife
& (when they could not drawe me to that) labouring to leade me
with Politie & outward Jealousies, as if I were a secret agent for
other ends, & did not ayme at the true meanes of Spirituall
reconcilement; but these Jealousies are nowe also dissipated by the things
which partly in my very sicknesse, partly since my recovery I have
beene enabled to declare & sett to paper, I am perswaded fully
overcome, soe that I have noe more to doe heere but to lett God
in his owne time worke out the rest.
I should have sent you the printed Copies of matters which
have beene heere in agitation, But partly the want of Shipping,
partly my sicknesse, partly some other Considerations, have kept me
back from this purpose till I come neerer home & see how matters
frame in your Quarters where a mightie banner seemeth to be lifted
vp against Papistry. Many other things were to be imparted vnto
you by volumnes, if we could finde time or meanes to multiply
Copies. I goe not from hence now into Denmarke as I did
purpose before I fell sick, but directly towards Lubeck. I have written
the last weeke to Mr. Roeland that he should send all your packets
& papers which did attend my comeing to the Soundt vnto Lubeck,
that I may finde all there at my arrivall, God willing, to give you
& such freinds as require it in your Quarters satisfaction to
reasonable demands, if soe be that Sr Tho[masj doth not too much
distract me from mine owne worke to his service, which if he doth,
perhaps he & I will not stay very long togeather, for if he will not
let me observe my vowes vnto God concerning this worke, I must
needes leave him to serve God.
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