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nonsense, and I made many blunders. Later on,
when I began to know more of human nature, I
learned to handle these patients a little better,
but we never got on very well together. They
seemed quite upset when I told them that they
looked rather well and their complexion was good,
but they rallied rapidly when I added that their
tongue looked rather bad—as seemed generally
to be the case. My diagnosis, in most of these
cases was over-eating, too many cakes or sweets
during the day or too heavy dinners at night. It
was probably the most correct diagnosis I ever
made in those days, but it met with no success.
Nobody wanted to hear anything more about it,
nobody liked it. What they all liked was
appendicitis. Appendicitis was just then much in
demand among better-class people on the look-out
for a complaint. All the nervous ladies had got
it on the brain if not in the abdomen, thrived on
it beautifully, and so did their medical advisers.
So I drifted gradually into appendicitis and
treated a great number of such cases with varied
success. But when the rumour began to
circulate that the American surgeons had started on a
campaign to cut out every appendix in the United
States, my cases of appendicitis began to fall off
in an alarming way. Consternation:
“Take away the appendix! my appendix!”
said the fashionable ladies, clinging desperately
to their processus vermicularis, like a mother to
her infant. “What shall I do without it!”
“Take away their appendices, my
appendices!” said the doctors, consulting gloomily the
list of their patients. “I never heard such
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