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PASTORAL PSYCHOLOGY
him for help can be both beneficial and dangerous, both for the
spiritual adviser and his confidant. This contact must be
created, but it must not be a constricting power. The bond must
not become a bondage. Just as a child’s dependence on its
mother must be replaced by self-reliance, so the confidant’s
dependence on the adviser must be replaced by real freedom
and healthy independence.
It sometimes happens that a Christian person becomes
altogether dependent upon the adviser with unhappy
consequences for both. This is one of the risks of confession and the
care of souls; a risk that must be taken, but against which the
spiritual adviser must continually be on quard. Both spiritual
advisers and their confidants must realise that undue dependence,
one-sided or mutual, can undermine the integrity of their
relationship.
If a spiritual adviser becomes harmfully dependent on the
person who has sought his aid, he can hardly lead and help him.
Personal viewpoints loom too large and prevent the detachment
necessary for sound judgment. When he sees a danger of such
a situation arising, the adviser must have the courage and
charity to send the confidant to some other counsellor, while he
himself seeks out his own spiritual adviser. No one should
practise the care of other souls who is unwilling to care for his
’ OW.
102
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