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264 Lenox Robinson
did time she had, and how happy she was and I was so
miserably unhappy and how she had everything she
wanted and I had nothing, and . . . and . . . But this
life made me unhappy, too, and so in desperation I came
home; but I ve grown too far away from it all, and now
I m going back. Don t you see, Jack, I m not happy
here. I thought if I could get home to the farm and the
old simple life it would be all right, but it isn t. Every
thing jars on me, the roughness and the hard living and
the coarse food oh, it seems ridiculous but they make
me physically ill. I always thought, if I could get away
home to Knockmalgloss I could start fair again. . . .
So I came home, and everything is the same, and every
one thinks that I m as pure and innocent as when I went
away, but . . . but . . . But, Jack, the dreadful thing
is I want to go back. ... I m longing for that life, and
its excitement and splendor and color.
In her misery and struggle a great faith sus
tains Mary and keeps her from ruin. It is the
thought of her father, in whom she believes im
plicitly as her ideal of honesty, strength and incor
ruptibility. The shock is terrible when she learns
that her father, even her father, has fallen a victim
to the cruel struggle of life, that her father him
self set fire to the buildings.
Mary. And I thought he was so simple, so innocent,
so unspoiled! . . .
Father, the simple, honest peasant,
the only decent one of us. I cried all last night at the
contrast! His unselfishness, his simplicity. . . .
Why,
we re all equally bad now he and I we both sell
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