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RECOLLECTIONS OF CHILDHOOD 13
half-built house, with bare brick walls, and empty
openings instead of windows. I experienced it, also,
in summer, if I lay on my back on the ground, and
gazed up into the cloudless sky.
Other symptoms of great nervousness also began
to make their appearance in me: my disgust, which
approached fear in its intensity, for all sorts of
physical monstrosities. If a two-headed chicken or a
three-legged calf was mentioned in my presence, I
began to tremble all over, and then, the following
night, I inevitably saw the monster in my dreams,
and woke nurse with a piercing scream. Even now
I remember the three-legged man who persecuted me
in my dreams during the whole of my childhood.
Even the sight of a broken doll inspired me with
terror : when I chanced to drop my doll, nurse had to pick
her up and tell me whether or no her head was broken;
if it was, she had to take her away without showing her
to me. I still remember how, one day, Aniuta caught
me alone, without nurse, and, wishing to tease me,
began forcibly to thrust before my eyes a wax doll,
from whose head dangled a black eye which had
been torn out, and thereby threw me into convulsions.
On the whole, I was on the highway to turn out a
nervous, sickly child; but soon all my surroundings
changed, and there was an end to all that had gone
before.
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