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RECOLLECTIONS OF CHILDHOOD 147
All the next day I passed in feverish expectation:
"What will happen?" I asked no questions of my
sister. I continued to feel toward her, though in a
weaker degree, the displeasure which I had felt the
night before, and therefore I avoided her as much as
possible.
Perceiving my unhappiness she made an attempt
to approach me, and to caress me; but I roughly
repulsed her in a sudden fit of wrath. Then she, too,
got angry, and left me to my own gloomy reflections.
For some reason or other I confidently expected
that Dostoévsky would come to us that day, and that
then something terrible would happen; but he did not
come. We had already sat down to dinner, but he
had not made his appearance. In the evening, as I
knew, we were to go to a concert.
As time passed, and he did not come, I felt rather
relieved; and a sort of dim, undefined hope even
began to penetrate my heart. Suddenly it occurred
to me:
" My sister will certainly refuse go to the concert,
and will remain at home; and Feödor Mikhåilovitch
will come when she is alone."
My heart contracted with jealousy at this thought.
But Aniuta did not refuse the concert. She went
with us, and was very cheerful and talkative all the
evening.
On our return from the concert, when we had gone
to bed, and Aniuta was preparing to blow out the
candle, I could hold out no longer, and without looking
at her, I asked:
" When will Feödor Mikhåilovitch come to see you ?"
Aniuta smiled, " Why, you don’t want to know
anything about me, you don’t want to speak to me, you
are pleased to sulk."
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