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A BIOGRAPHY
161
Sönya would often exclaim when talking of this period
of her life. " We were so enthusiastic about the new
ideas; so sure that the present social state could not
continue long. We pictured to ourselves the glorious
period of liberty and universal enlightenment of which
we dreamed, and in which we firmly believed. Besides
this, we had the sense of true union and cooperation.
When three or four of us met in a drawing-room among
older people,—where we had no right to advance our
opinions,—a tone, a glance, even a sigh, were sufficient
to show one another that we were one in thought and
sympathy. And when we discovered this, how great
was the inward delight at realizing that close to us was
some young man or woman, whom we had never seen
before, and with whom we had apparently only
exchanged some commonplace remark, yet whom we
found to be devoted to the same ideas and hopes,
ready for self-sacrifice in the same cause!"
At that time no one noticed little Sönya in the circle
which gradually gathered around her sister Aniuta,
who was six years her senior, and the center of a group
of friends. Sönya was still a child in outward
appearance, and it was only through Aniuta’s affection for
her shy little sister with " the green-gooseberry eyes "
that the girl was allowed to be present. How brightly
those eyes sparkled at every warm and enthusiastic
word which fell from the older members of the circle,
though Sönya kept herself in the shadow of her more
brilliant sister!
Sönya admired this sister above all things, and
believed her to be her superior in beauty, charm, talent,
and intelligence. But in her admiration lay a certain
amount of jealousy; the jealousy which strives to
emulate its object, not that which belittles and disparages
it. This jealousy, of which Sönya speaks in her
rem-li
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