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A BIOGRAPHY
225
She wrote on this subject to Professor Mittag
Leffler:
Stockholm, June 3d.
I have been to Lindhagen, who told me that the authorities
of the University are of opinion that I ought to be Professor
Holmgren’s substitute. But they do not wish this mentioned,
as it might have a bad effect on Holmgren. He is really very
ill, but does not yet seem to realize the fact. I replied to
Lindhagen that I felt that this was quite fair, and that I am satisfied
to know that the authorities think I should be Holmgren’s locum
tenens in case he is not able to give his autumn lectures. But
if, contrary to present expectations, he should have recovered
before then, I should be so pleased with the happy turn of
events that I should not regret the work I should thus have
missed. I am much pleased, my dear friend, that things have
turned out so well, and I shall do my best to make my lectures
as good as possible. Stories with a moral are always tiresome
in books, but they are very encouraging and edifying when they
occur in real life; so I am doubly pleased that my motto, pas
trop fie zèle, has been refuted in so brilliant and unexpected a
manner. I do hope you will have no reason to reproach me
with losing courage. You must never forget, dear friend, that
I am Russian. When a Swedish woman is tired or in a bad
humor she is silent and sulky. Of course the ill humor strikes
inward and becomes a chronic complaint. A Russian bemoans
and bewails herself so much that it affects her mentally as a
catarrh affects her physically. For the rest I must say that I
only bemoan and bewail when I am slightly unhappy. When I
am in great distress, then I too am silent. No one can perceive
my distress. I may sometimes have reproached you with being
too optimistic, but I would not have you cure yourself of this on
any account. The fault suits you to perfection, and, besides,
the most striking proof of your optimism is the good opinion
you have of me. You can easily understand that I should like
you to be right in this detail.
Shortly after this Sönya went to Russia to spend the
summer, partly in St. Petersburg with her invalid
sister, and partly in the environs of Moscow with her
friend and her little girl.
I here quote from a few letters written thence.
15
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