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250
SÖNYA KOVALÉVSKY
really has that it is impossible, except in a dream, to imagine
being possessed of them without losing the feeling of identity.
But when remembering certain moments in one’s life, the case
is altogether different. At those moments the illusions of free
will become strangely intense. One fancies that if he could
have tried a little harder, had been cleverer or more decided, he
might have turned his destiny into another channel. On much
the same ground stands our belief in miracles. None but a mad
person can think of asking the Creator to change the great laws
of nature; for instance, to awaken the dead. But I should like
to put a test-question to orthodox people. Have they never, at
any time, asked for a small change in the course of events, such,
for instance, as recovery from sickness f Often a small miracle
seems so much easier than a great one, and it requires quite an
effort of the mind to realize that both are precisely alike. So it
is with our thoughts about ourselves. It is almost impossible
for me to realize what I should feel if I woke one morning with
a voice like Jenny Lind’s, with a body supple and strong as-,
or with a-; but I can easily imagine that my complexion is
-. It is just such a critical moment which the authors
attempt to describe in these dramas. Karl, according to their
idea, is one and the same person in either play, only gifted
with such slight differences of character as one can easily
imagine without losing the sense of individuality. In ordinary life
such differences would scarcely be noticeable. Under most
circumstances they would have no influence on the decision
between two actions. Suppose, for instance, that all had gone
well with our hero and heroine; that the father had lived a
couple of years longer; in that case Karl, as described in either
drama, would have had no different fate. The divergence of
life under such circumstances would have been so small that it
would not have affected the main current of events. But, as
it was, a decisive moment arrived at a time that two different
duties seemed to call in two different directions, and it was the
slight difference in character above alluded to that decided the
choice of opposite ways, and, once made, caused their fates to
diverge without ever meeting again. Or let us choose an
example from mechanics. Think for a moment of a common
pendulum, or, if you prefer it, a small ball hanging, by a very slight
but supple string, from a nail. If you give the ball a little
touch, it will swing to one side, describe a given circle, rise to
a given height, and return again, but not to stop at the same
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