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At the foot of the hill Marie turned into the path
leading away from the castle, and Sti walked at her side.
“Look you, Sti Högh,” said Marie, “since you seem
to think so well of me, I would have you know that I am
quite unlearned in the signs of the weather and likewise
in other people’s discourse.”
“Surely not.”
“In what you are saying—yes.”
“Nay.”
“Now I swear yes.”
“Oaths gouge no eye without fist follows after.”
“Faith, you may believe me or not, but God knows I
ofttimes feel that great still sadness that comes we know
not whence. Pastor Jens was wont to say it was a
longing for our home in the kingdom of heaven, which is the
true fatherland of every Christian soul, but I think it is
not that. We long and sorrow and know no living hope to
comfort us—ah, how bitterly have I wept! It comes over
one with such a strange heaviness and sickens one’s heart,
and one feels so tired of one’s own thoughts and wishes
one had never been born. But it is not the briefness of
these earthly joys that has weighed on my thoughts or
caused me grief. No, never! It was something quite
different—but ’t is quite impossible to give that grief a name.
Sometimes I have thought it was really a grief over some
hidden flaw in my own nature, some inward hurt that
made me unlike other people—lesser and poorer. Ah, no,
it passes everything how hard it is to find words—in just
the right sense. Look you, this life—this earth—seems
to me so splendid and wonderful, I should be proud and
happy beyond words just to have some part in it. Whether
for joy or grief matters not, but that I might sorrow or
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