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166 LETTERS.
Never have I felt so much that I have been created for this
aim as now; never have I felt my intellectual being, as it
were, grow, strengthen, gain stability and clearness, as now ;
knowing what it is to desire to live and learn, and never to
have had the joyful hope (to speak in the language of St.
Paul) “to be a vessel formed to honor.” The desire and
the hope that I become to you and to my sisters a subject
of rejoicing, is to me — how shall I express it? — a spur
of roses.
Yes, dearest mother! what I have often felt, what I have
often wanted to say to my beloved ones at home is, I am
happy. Never has any one enjoyed their life more fully
than I do at this moment. The brightening thoughts with-
in me, which promise such sweet harmony for my soul in
future, contribute much to this: and then my own little
quiet room. Oh! dear mother, if.I should be at home
next winter, do you think I could get a little garret in Mr.
Bruhn’s house? It is more important for me than any one
can believe, to have a little quiet nest of my own, where I
can be quite undisturbed. In the suite of apartments in
our house this would be impossible; but in the garret it
would be delightful, if it only can be managed.
Toms, 30th August, 1835.
In my last letter, my dear mother, I told you such a mis-
erable story, that I feel a need of coming to you with some-
thing more cheerful, and of such subjects there is no lack.
I begin with what touches me most. I must therefore tell
you, that my good and excellent friend has returned from
Alingsas. She is so delighted and happy to be here again.
I caunot imagine how such a warm-hearted and lively
creature could have resigned herself to live for eight years
alone at this solitary Tomb; but no one can excel her in
the power of quietly fixing a purpose and then pursuing it.
This she calls her “fool-hardiness.” I count myself happy
to be able to be something for her; we suit each other ad-
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