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94 THE CONFESSION OF A FOOL
" Mother or housekeeper ! Thank you ! One can hire
a housekeeper! It’s easier. And then? How am I to
occupy myself? I have two maids, excellent substitutes.
No! I want to Hve. ..."
’’Go on the stage? "
"Yes! "
" But that’s out of the question !
"
"I know that only too well! And it irritates me,
makes me stupid . . . kills me !
"
"What about a literary career? It’s not in such bad
repute as the stage!
"
"The dramatic art is, in my opinion, the highest of
all arts. Come what may, I shall never cease to regret
the fact that I have missed my vocation. And what have
I got in exchange? ... A disappointment!
"
The Baron called to us, and we returned to his bedside.
" What was she talking about? " he asked me.
" We were talking about the theatre," I replied.
"She’s crazy!
"
"Not as crazy as you think," retorted the Baroness,
and left the room, slamming the door.
"She doesn’t sleep at night," began the husband,
growing confidential.
"No? "
" She plays the piano, she lies on the sofa, or, rather,
she chooses the hours of the night to do her accounts.
For heaven’s sake, my dear young sage, tell me what I’m
to do to put an end to this madness !
"
" Perhaps if she had a large family? " I ventured.
He pulled a face, then he tried to look unconcerned.
" She was very ill after her first baby was born . . .
and the doctor has warned her . . . and moreover,
children cost so much. . . . You understand? "
I understood, and I took care not to refer again to the
subject. I was too young at the time to know that it is
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