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THE CONFESSION OF A FOOL 95
the patient who orders the doctor what to prescribe
for her.
Presently the Baroness returned with her little girl, and
began to put her to bed in her small iron cot. But the
little one refused to be undressed, and began to scream.
After a few futile attempts to calm her, her mother
threatened her with the rod.
I cannot bear to see a child being punished without
losing my temper. I remember on one such occasion
raising my hand against my own father. I allowed my
anger to get the better of me, and interfered.
" Allow me," I said ..." but do you think that a child
cries Avithout a reason? "
"She’s naughty."
" Then there’s some cause for it. Perhaps she’s sleepy,
and our presence and the lamplight irritate her."
She agreed, taken aback, and, perhaps, conscious that
her shrewish conduct had produced an unfavourable
impression on me.
This glimpse of her home life cured me for some weeks
of my love, and I must confess that the scene with the
rod had contributed more than anything else to my
disillusion.
The autumn dragged on monotonously and Christmas
drew near. The arrival of a newly-married couple from
Finland, friends of the Baroness, brought a little more
life in our relationship, which had lost much of its charm.
Thanks to the Baroness, I received numerous invitations,
and presented myself in evening dress at suppers, dinners
and occasionally even at a dance.
While moving in this, her world, which in my opinion
lacked dignity, I could not help noticing that the Baroness,
under cover of an exaggerated candour, paid a great deal
of attention to the young men, watching me furtively all
the while, however, to see the effect of her conduct on me.
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