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But this was but “the beginning of the sorrows.” One of
the daughters, because she was true to the dictates of her
conscience, also fell under the ban of this enlightened
Government, and has had to undergo a series of trials of great
severity. We cannot do better than give her own account, as
written in a letter, of her experiences.
“Like my brothers and sisters, I was brought up in the
Orthodox faith, and was accustomed from my childhood to
regard the Orthodox Church as the only true one. But all the
prayers that my teachers taught me, which I repeated every
morning before the eikon of a saint, could not satisfy my
soul, although I was but a child. When I had ended these
prayers, I would lay my wants before God in my own words,
though I never heard any one else do so.
“In 1871, I was placed in a school for girls of noble families
in the city of X., where I was instructed in languages, art, and
the other subjects that form the curriculum of such
institutions. Religion, of course, was treated merely as a matter of
form. Yet in my inmost heart was an earnest and deep piety.
Soon, however, the temptations of the world became too strong
for me, who was so feeble, and my childish confidence in God
began to disappear.
“In 1877, I was removed to the Grand Duke of Oldenburg’s
Seminary for young ladies of the nobility, in St. Petersburg.
At that time I was sixteen years old. In this great city, with
all its temptations, among worldly relatives and friends, I was
completely conquered by the world. Still I continued to
observe, in mechanical fashion, the ceremonies of the Church.
During this period I was often invited to Court, but its
splendour and magnificence never impressed me much.
“In the winter of ’79 my father died and bitter trials befell
our family; in the spring of the same year I finished my
course at the seminary, and obtained a lucrative position as
teacher in an Imperial school in the South of Russia. My
salary was 1,500 roubles, with free rooms and attendance. I
now tried to satisfy myself with worldly pleasures, but soon
grew tired. Then I began to read philosophical works with
great eagerness, hoping, in this way, to still my soul’s hunger
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