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But she had a great amount of self-control, so
in society nobody saw her real feelings. She
did not even wear mourning—her sister, like
herself, had had an aversion to black, and she
thought it would have been mere conventionality
to mourn over her in that way. But in her
heart she fretted and pined, and became very
nervous and irritable in consequence. She kept
hoping that her sister would find some way of
revealing herself to her, either in a dream or in
a vision. For she retained throughout her life
that faith in dreams which is mentioned by her
early friend, as well as in forebodings and
revelations under other forms.
Indeed, she always knew beforehand whether a
year would be lucky or unlucky to her. Thus
she was positive that the year 1887 would bring
her a great joy and a great sorrow; that 1888
would be one of the happiest in her life, and
1890 one of the bitterest; 1891 would bring a
new dawn of light. This dawn was to be
death.
She used to have painful dreams when any of
those she loved suffered or did anything that
would make her suffer. The last few nights
before her sister’s death her dreams had been
bad—to her own surprise, as the news were good.
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